How to give yourself permission

Do you need permission?

Why do we need permission when we have been gifted freedom of choice?

Many people with low self-esteem fall into this behavioural trap as a result of their history, their culture, their religion, or their upbringing.

I’m not talking about permission to do anything illegal; I’m taking about permission to live, to enjoy life, to be happy and content.

How many people do you know or are you one yourself who apologise for everything? Where “sorry” is a natural precursor to any spoken sentence?

Why do some of us feel the need to apologise for our existence?

Whatever hangovers we have from our childhood; all the things we “should” have achieved by now, all the things we “should” have learnt, all the wealth we “should’ have accumulated, the life that was mapped out for us that we “should” now be living. If they haven’t yet happened, perhaps it’s because that was not meant to be.

I cannot tell you the number of people I’ve worked with, including myself, who are beating themselves up for not achieving what they believe they “should” have. It doesn’t matter how much they try to overachieve in their lives they feel as though they have failed. Not only that, they also set themselves up to fail over and over again because they never manage to achieve all of the “shoulds” collected from childhood.

The result?

Lack of confidence and self-esteem and at the worst depression, addiction, or behavioural issues.

The escape?

Give yourself permission to try something different, to set yourself up to succeed, to let go of the influences from your past, to live life, to enjoy life, to be happy.


If you really wanted to achieve all of the “shoulds” you would have done. The reason you probably haven’t is that they weren’t right for you. They are not attractive enough, you know deep down that they won’t bring you joy so there is no motivation.

The biggest factor? They aren’t yours; they are someone else’s. You may have felt powerless to fight against the “shoulds” as a child, but today you are an adult with freedom of choice.

You may have heard of the saying “What’s the point of flogging a dead horse?” If you haven’t heard it, think about it – a dead horse isn’t going to go anywhere!

So please remove all of the “shoulds” in your life choose to live your life. Choose to have a happy and fulfilling life.

Give yourself permission to break free from the chains of your past.

Give yourself permission to do all of the things in life that bring you joy.



If you would like help changing your behaviour around permission just give me a call. Your choice.